The Imagination is a weapon. Those who don’t use it die first.
Welcome to the world of Goblin Slayer, where the main character is incredibly stoic and totally oblivious to all the hot chicks that are trying to get in his pants. The only thing our protagonist lives and breathes for is for the sole purpose of slaying goblins. That’s correct my friends. Eradicating, every, single, goblin. Although this anime seems pretty straightforward, the thrills of watching the team overcome challenges will give you goosebumps and leave your jaw stuck to the ground.
Beard Cutter, Orcborg, Pussy Slayer call him whatever you like but he only has one name and that’s Goblin Slayer, the silver-ranked adventurer that will destroy any goblins standing in his way. The guy doesn’t really talk that much but his actions definitely capture your heart. He’s a solo adventurer but that is soon to change until he comes across our national Waifu.
The Shrine Priestess (at this point you’ll probably realize that everyone doesn’t have a name) is definitely Waifu material. Her ass is a strong 10 and so is her age. She was asked to accompany an amateur team to take on a goblin quest. The rookies thought it would be a walk in the park but little did they know that goblins are very sneaky creatures. They go into the dark cave and then boom. Ambush from behind. The girls were raped then tortured and eventually killed. However, for our damsel in distress, she was saved by our man Goblin Slayer.
We learn a little bit of Goblin Slayer and to why he only accepts quests regarding goblins. He is currently staying with his friend Cow Girl and her uncle. The two have been childhood friends and boy have they grown up………they have really grown (.)(.) His daily routine is to check the surrounding fence for any damages and check the ground for any footprints. If there are none, he’ll simply do some fence maintenance and go have breakfast.
Goblin Slayer has really been through a lot. When he was a kid, a horde of goblins attacked his village. They were able to capture his sister and used her as a plaything. To make things worse, Goblin Slayer was hiding in the closet and was forced to watch his very own sister get raped and eventually killed off. From that they on, he swore vengeance to eradicate every single goblin from the earth.
The Shrine Priestess is forever thankful of Goblin Slayer for saving her life and decides to go on adventures with him. She is able to cast about 3 spells per day and can be very useful at times. However after that limit is up, she pretty much becomes dead weight. But because she’s cute we’ll forgive her because she’s willing to learn about various battle tactics and goblin psychology/mentality.
As the Silver ranked adventurer gains more popularity, there are even folklore and songs that spread far and wide across the land. A peculiar adventurer group consisting of High Elf Archer, Lizard Priest and Dwarf Shaman were trying to track down Goblin Slayer to help them get rid of some demons. Of course, he declined the offer but quickly accepted it once Lizard Priest said that there were Goblins involved. Super clickbait if you ask me lol.
The newly formed group enters a ruin infested by goblins that are led by a goblin shaman. Little did they know this was not the case. In fact, this horde of goblins was being led by an Ogre who is the direct servant of the demon lord himself…..well shittt…. The team try to take it down but he was tough as hell with his fire, rock, grass resistance bullshit with super strength and regeneration powers to top it off making way too OP. But do not fear, Goblin Slayer has a trick up his sleeve and that is a teleportation scroll that can kill the Ogre! You’ll understand when you see it 😉
The highlight of this anime is definitely when Goblin Slayer gets a personal request from the Sword-Maiden. This momma is a hottie I tell you. She was in the group that destroyed the demon lord long ago but is now retired after losing her eyesight. She informs the team that there has been a mass murder recently and she suspects it to be goblins who are coming from the sewage system. Once they got there, the goblins were actually riding on boats like Sinbad lol. This surprises Goblin Slayer because normally they are dumb as hell. I’ll leave this mystery for you to see 😉
Goblin Slayer is what you definitely call an expert in goblin slaying. He pretty much breathes goblins for oxygen lol. His experience definitely helps him out for the normal goblins but when he came across the Goblin Champion, he gets critically wounded from taking one too many hits and gets knocked out. The Goblin Champion was too OP and everyone was on the verge of death. The Priestess screamed for her life which caused Goblin Slayer to wake up, chug a revive potion and sprinted his ass towards the Goblin Champion and tears its right eye out.
This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Goblin Slayer wakes up in the temple of Law after being knocked out for 3 days. He wakes up next to the Shrine Priestess naked as she was using Resurrection of Miracle to heal him overnight 😉 Her ass is a 10 but so is her age lol. The ultimate reveal of Goblin Slayers face. What will he look like? Tune into the next episode of Dragon Ball Z….. We only get a glimpse from the back and it’s revealed that he has long white hair. Kakashi is that you? lol
They return back to their hometown after the mission. Goblin Slayer discovers goblin footprints around his house and I shit you not, hundreds of them were coming to attack his village. This horde was being led by a Goblin Lord which is a very intelligent mutated goblin. He decides to ask for help from his guild but everyone was like pft hell no. But seeing how serious he was, they all decided to help him out. It was an all-out war but the adventurers were excited because for everyone goblin they kill they receive 1 piece of gold!
It was total bloodshed out there. However, due to Goblin Slayers expertise and advice, the tides of battle were instantly turned into a one-sided massacre as goblin Slayer was able to predict all their moves. Goblin Slayer went around the war to kill the Goblin Lord and I’m sure you can guess who won 😉 Luckily the Shrine Priestess was there to help him otherwise he would have been goblin food lol
The victory was secured for the village but there was one thing left on the agenda. The Shrine Priestess asked Goblin Slayer to take off his helmet as she couldn’t see very clearly last time. Everyone was super surprised to see his face for the first time. All the girls in the room were pretty much dripping wet at the sight of his handsome face even though we only got to see half of it. I’m sure in Season 2 we’ll be able to see his full face so stay tuned!
Screw it, they can all be Waifus today ❤