Goblin Slayer’s Face Revealed!

The Imagination is a weapon. Those who don’t use it die first.

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Welcome to the world of Goblin Slayer, where the main character is incredibly stoic and totally oblivious to all the hot chicks that are trying to get in his pants. The only thing our protagonist lives and breathes for is for the sole purpose of slaying goblins. That’s correct my friends. Eradicating, every, single, goblin. Although this anime seems pretty straightforward, the thrills of watching the team overcome challenges will give you goosebumps and leave your jaw stuck to the ground.

Beard Cutter, Orcborg, Pussy Slayer call him whatever you like but he only has one name and that’s Goblin Slayer, the silver-ranked adventurer that will destroy any goblins standing in his way. The guy doesn’t really talk that much but his actions definitely capture your heart. He’s a solo adventurer but that is soon to change until he comes across our national Waifu.

The Shrine Priestess (at this point you’ll probably realize that everyone doesn’t have a name) is definitely Waifu material. Her ass is a strong 10 and so is her age. She was asked to accompany an amateur team to take on a goblin quest. The rookies thought it would be a walk in the park but little did they know that goblins are very sneaky creatures. They go into the dark cave and then boom. Ambush from behind.  The girls were raped then tortured and eventually killed. However, for our damsel in distress, she was saved by our man Goblin Slayer.

We learn a little bit of Goblin Slayer and to why he only accepts quests regarding goblins. He is currently staying with his friend Cow Girl and her uncle. The two have been childhood friends and boy have they grown up………they have really grown (.)(.) His daily routine is to check the surrounding fence for any damages and check the ground for any footprints. If there are none, he’ll simply do some fence maintenance and go have breakfast. 

Goblin Slayer has really been through a lot. When he was a kid, a horde of goblins attacked his village. They were able to capture his sister and used her as a plaything. To make things worse, Goblin Slayer was hiding in the closet and was forced to watch his very own sister get raped and eventually killed off. From that they on, he swore vengeance to eradicate every single goblin from the earth.

The Shrine Priestess is forever thankful of Goblin Slayer for saving her life and decides to go on adventures with him. She is able to cast about 3 spells per day and can be very useful at times. However after that limit is up, she pretty much becomes dead weight. But because she’s cute we’ll forgive her because she’s willing to learn about various battle tactics and goblin psychology/mentality. 

As the Silver ranked adventurer gains more popularity,  there are even folklore and songs that spread far and wide across the land. A peculiar adventurer group consisting of High Elf Archer, Lizard Priest and Dwarf Shaman were trying to track down Goblin Slayer to help them get rid of some demons. Of course, he declined the offer but quickly accepted it once Lizard Priest said that there were Goblins involved. Super clickbait if you ask me lol.

The newly formed group enters a ruin infested by goblins that are led by a goblin shaman. Little did they know this was not the case. In fact, this horde of goblins was being led by an Ogre who is the direct servant of the demon lord himself…..well shittt…. The team try to take it down but he was tough as hell with his fire, rock, grass resistance bullshit with super strength and regeneration powers to top it off making way too OP. But do not fear, Goblin Slayer has a trick up his sleeve and that is a teleportation scroll that can kill the Ogre! You’ll understand when you see it 😉

The highlight of this anime is definitely when Goblin Slayer gets a personal request from the Sword-Maiden. This momma is a hottie I tell you. She was in the group that destroyed the demon lord long ago but is now retired after losing her eyesight. She informs the team that there has been a mass murder recently and she suspects it to be goblins who are coming from the sewage system. Once they got there, the goblins were actually riding on boats like Sinbad lol. This surprises Goblin Slayer because normally they are dumb as hell. I’ll leave this mystery for you to see 😉

Goblin Slayer is what you definitely call an expert in goblin slaying. He pretty much breathes goblins for oxygen lol. His experience definitely helps him out for the normal goblins but when he came across the Goblin Champion, he gets critically wounded from taking one too many hits and gets knocked out. The Goblin Champion was too OP and everyone was on the verge of death. The Priestess screamed for her life which caused Goblin Slayer to wake up, chug a revive potion and sprinted his ass towards the Goblin Champion and tears its right eye out. 

This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Goblin Slayer wakes up in the temple of Law after being knocked out for 3 days. He wakes up next to the Shrine Priestess naked as she was using Resurrection of Miracle to heal him overnight 😉 Her ass is a 10 but so is her age lol.  The ultimate reveal of Goblin Slayers face. What will he look like? Tune into the next episode of Dragon Ball Z….. We only get a glimpse from the back and it’s revealed that he has long white hair. Kakashi is that you? lol

They return back to their hometown after the mission. Goblin Slayer discovers goblin footprints around his house and I shit you not, hundreds of them were coming to attack his village. This horde was being led by a Goblin Lord which is a very intelligent mutated goblin. He decides to ask for help from his guild but everyone was like pft hell no. But seeing how serious he was, they all decided to help him out. It was an all-out war but the adventurers were excited because for everyone goblin they kill they receive 1 piece of gold!

It was total bloodshed out there. However, due to Goblin Slayers expertise and advice, the tides of battle were instantly turned into a one-sided massacre as goblin Slayer was able to predict all their moves. Goblin Slayer went around the war to kill the Goblin Lord and I’m sure you can guess who won 😉 Luckily the Shrine Priestess was there to help him otherwise he would have been goblin food lol

The victory was secured for the village but there was one thing left on the agenda. The Shrine Priestess asked Goblin Slayer to take off his helmet as she couldn’t see very clearly last time. Everyone was super surprised to see his face for the first time. All the girls in the room were pretty much dripping wet at the sight of his handsome face even though we only got to see half of it. I’m sure in Season 2 we’ll be able to see his full face so stay tuned!

Screw it, they can all be Waifus today ❤

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Kuroko No Basket

When you come to hate something you liked, it’s incredibly painful

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Micheal Jordan, Stephen Curry, Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Shaq O’Neil. All great basketball players but they’ve got nothing on the players in Kuroko No Basket. With speed, ferocity and style, the ballers in this anime will steal your hearts while breaking your ankles with their skills.

Our main homie is Kuroko Tetsuya and Kagami Taiga. The story revolves around a mediocre high school basketball team with a big dream of reaching the national basketball championships. Although Kuroko is the main protagonist, he is actually the supporting player of the team and is the right-hand man of Kagami.

From the physical aspects, Kuroko is well……..weak. But don’t it fool you…….ok you got me he’s weak AF lol. HOWEVER! Kuroko has an amazing skill that is very rare and priceless to the team. That is his ability misdirection. Add in his lack of presence on the court, this kid pretty much can disappear on you. Like a cute girl that you’ve been hitting up for months and ghosts you. *cough cough fuck you. 

Kagami is a big shot. He grew up in America playing street basketball. He has an excellent physique, skills and he’s overpowered AF. He can slam dunk from miles away and can jump higher than a jumping goat. He instantly captures the attention of the basketball team coach, Riko who put him in the starting line up. Riko is like the typical anime girl who has a loud mouth but really cares for her team. She puts a lot of energy into their practices to ensure they are able to achieve their dreams. Such a tough waifu

This is where the magic begins. With Tetsuya’s misdirection and Kagami strength, these two are unstoppable. Disappearing balls and making shots, sounds like a good night lol. I’ve never seen a team work this beautiful, it’s like peanut butter and jelly, ice cream and apple pie, chocolate sauce on chocolate cake.

Special shoutout to the Seirin mascot, Tetsuya 2 ❤ His is the most adorable little huskie in the anime. He has the exact same blue eyes as Kuroko and likes to follow him around everywhere in his bag. I wish my dog was this cute, omgerdddd ❤

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The whole mystery around the Generation of Miracles shall now be summarized and explained in a measly, poorly attempted and limited shitty paragraphs. The Generation of miracles consists of the 5 main superstars. Midorima, Kise, Murasakibara, Aomine and Akashi. There is also the Phantom 6th member Kuroko that the generation of miracle accepts as part of their team.

Each having insane skills. Mr. Sneasky Sniper Midoryma can shoot from anywhere from the court and get it in. Aomine the no-style basketball god with supreme reflexes and unorthodox skills that nobody can beat. Murasakibara with the ultimate defence being able to block any dunks coming his way and when needed score dunks as well. Kise is the copycat who can copy abilities of his teammates and opponents and utilise them at any time is really handy. And finally, captain Akashi with the emperor’s eye that can command people and see into the future but only uses it to break peoples ankles lmao.

The Generation of Miracles was a basketball team formed at Teiko middle school. They were unbeatable and were the champions for 3 years straight. However, as they won more and more matches, they all became even more distant to one another. Ever since the disbandment, the members of the Generation of Miracles vowed to go to different high schools and compete with each other. This was to prove their own respective basketball styles to be the best.

Kuroko went to Seirin High School. It’s only been 2 years since their formation but they absolutely destroyed all their opponents since their winter debut. Their main tactic is the run and gun style that relies on fast breaks rather than actual strategies. This can be seen with Kuroko’s Ignite and Misdirection passes to Kagami who sprints his way into a dunk.

Fan favourites include the Rookie Duo combination and full-court pass between Kuroko and Kagami. On some occasion, Kuroko will absolutely smash the shit out of the ball with his palm and pass the ball across the court to Kagami and usually ends with Kagami going for a dunk.

Their main goal of Seirin was winning the Winter Cup. After facing off one team after another, they ran into one generation of miracles at a time. Although it was fierce competition between all of them, they were great sports and all became great friends in the end which is so heartwarming to see.

The most notable scene in the whole series was the Direct Zone Drive. This was when all the players in the Seirin team were in the zone. This can ONLY be achieved when there is complete trust between the players. They were able to match Kagami’s pace and were able to beat to opposing team leaving them in the dust. You can probably guess, who won the Winter Cup but boy was it well earned.

The teamwork and friendships formed from their battles were truly significant and lifelong. Once enemies and now friends are the best types of friendships. If you’re on your way out to the basketball court as you read this, go polish your moves and send me a few clips haha.

Team manager and analyst Momoi Waifu hiding basketballs under her bikini, so cute ❤

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